1. |
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I want to feel feelings
but I don't want to feel this feeling
I know I'll get hurt
when I pick up this chain
and pull out the ocean
I want to go sailing
but when she asks "how've you been?"
and "what are you up to?"
that's the wind that will drag me
that I'm breathing and choking on
now I'm with my dog
who lets me be messy
as long as I'm warm at the center
and she was like that
but i tripped at the stairs
and I'm not sure that I've gotten better
my monsoon's a whisper
to the world unhinging down to a crawl
but in the woods of psychic crashes
this is the branch
that I'm breaking on
when she texted she'll be in town
I was eating grapes in a cupboard
I haven't seen her in so long
and now that we'll jump
inside from our corners
I wake up and I
feel chilled to my bones
in june with a coat and a sweater
cause she was like that
but I tripped at the stairs
and I'm not sure that I've gotten better
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2. |
Not Personable
02:58
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I'm supposed to jump and click my heels
in a pasture way up on dry land
and never talk about the way I feel
never talk to those who understand
swimming deep in the waters where your senses merge
who retrieve the buried gold that's neither his or hers
who know that no one ever gets what they deserve
who will starve with every person whittled down to their
_____last nerve
and get called
not personable
all my friends are broke pariah vermin
throwing vases in a marble hall
taught to steal their keep but never learning
that they set you up to watch you fall
and you fall down on a river past the civilized
where you can drink their wild cherry and tune out their
_____lies
be the saccharine they won't admit they despise
a sweetness in their throat that will burn out their eyes
so I am
not personable
I'm the reason your parents had you go out for the team
they were always afraid you would grow up to be a guy
_____like me
not yielding
not personable
I keep a hardened heart to sharpen my axe
and I've got wood chopped for a fire I will never relax
don't try to save me when I need to be heard
I'm growing into my wings a singing negative bird
a hawk so
not personable
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3. |
Around the Edges
03:37
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in another life
I'll sail the jello ocean tides
of normal walks and flatline talks
I'll watch the paper boats go by
when the time is right
we'll burn our cash in paper bags
and I'll forget just why I let
you eat my chips now I've been had
if I cannot sleep
I'll smoke all night on my back porch
just throwing crumbs at scorpions
that walk across the desert floor
you say that you breathe
rock heavy water in and out
I drown when I begin to try
and pull the snakes out of your mouth
when disaster came
he crashed the door to splinters
in his pickup truck now how the fuck
will you and I get through the winter
how far will you crawl
to leave where you were going to
I'm in the dirt without a skirt
my spitshine self is showing now
so cut my love around the edges
leave the crust on trim the hedges
I'm alive and free without a smudge
dig your arm into my leeches
pull my finger eat your peaches
take a break and smoke I'll be around
I won't go home
not all alone
at the edge of earth
I spit into a fountain
but my garbage can is half a man
to sit on flattened mountains
when I mimic you
you tell me that I'm growing
and I'd jump to skate a figure eight
but what of me is showing then
oh I forgot about the trouble
right there with the freedom
and abandon when you build a paper house
I smile when I feel the whip
the coffee buzz the endless trip
what you told be about it sounds the same
just different sounds
and different names
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4. |
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Huff Tillman moonwalked on the street
he wore a single sparkling glove
sang "Rock with You" and "Billie Jean"
the public knew they were in love
all of Chicago knew of Huff
they'd watch him sing and dance and stuff
of all the Mikes in the Midwest
everyone said he was the best
so he said "I want to be where everyone can see
that I'm the best there ever was to walk the earth
I'm going to try before I lay down and die
to make sure everybody knows what all I'm worth"
and so Huff hopped onto a train
going east to New York City
where he could really play "The King
of Pop" on stages and TV
but when the train stopped for a rest
Huff put on a small performance
therr was a man who was impressed
his name was Snaz Delorez
and Snaz said "you ought to be where everyone can see
that you're the best there ever was to walk the earth
you've got to try before you lay down and die
to make everybody knows what all you're worth"
so Huff asked Snaz Delores "how will you do this for _____me?
how will help to bring my act to everyone?
and Snaz said to him "lucky you you don't know what I _____can do
I'll have you dancing everywhere under the sun."
that's when he laid it out to Huff
he said "I own a traveling circus
we go from town to town by bus
and your act would be perfect for us"
and so Huff went along with him
moonwalked from Boise to Houston
he never failed to bring a crowd
and he was loved in every town
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5. |
Pillar of Mud and Wine
03:58
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I'm on your heels
looking for the next way to feel
pulled by a thrust
broader than the seas of wanderlust
I've got a job at the municipal bin
where the boss pays you for nothing but to just blend in
they sold me powder and they said I'd be fine
but I turned into a pillar of mud and wine
push me away
to the fingertips of outer space
and I will stay
always on a light and shadow chase
I didn't listen when they told me to go
and now I dig a grave for all the things I don't know
face down in a river I lay down
squeeze out the juice
from all the storms I phase through fast and loose
to a glass of night
that makes you like a bull after a fight
I've got a job at the municipal bin
where the boss pays you for nothing but to just blend in
they sold me powder and they said I'd be fine
but I turned into a pillar of mud and wine
push me away
so I won't have to drag my headached feet
through one more day
of crawling on the ground for dust to eat
I didn't listen when they told me to go
and now I dig a grave for all the things I don't know
face down in a river I lay down
push me away
and break apart the time we've spent alone
don't let me stay
the trouble starts when I feel right at home
I didn't listen when they told me to go
and now I dig a grave for all the things I don't know
face down in a river I lay down
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6. |
Everything Costs Money
04:40
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I'm crouching knees under my swollen chin
in an icebox two feet wide
fading like the ghost I've always been
held back shut out from the open sky
in dreams I ride the back of Icarus
to a height above the sun
but in life I can't afford to ride the bus
I chew air just like it's chewing gum
I lean for hours on a brick wall spitting dirt
too stiff to feel free and too bored to get hurt
falling easily out of love like it's eating cake
I feel the loss but can't afford the heartbreak
when everything costs money
I haven't washed my hair in fourteen days
and it shines like broken glass
there's nothing I can do but pray for rain
I know, know that this will never pass
I've walked for miles through a seething fire
to a lake of snakes and mud
for one sweet chilling drink to stay alive
I walk and the lake it seems to run
there are days I'm less behind than the day before
but with every day the fire hurts me more
I remember every time I could die of thirst
that for the afterlife I'd want a pack of cigarettes first
and everything costs money
a startled motor sputters in the grass
and it eats up everything
it's deadly to wonder how long this could last
thirst shouts louder than devotion sings
the water grief swims in never settles down
there hunger floats and there my spirit drowns
to the moon and back blue and green pigeons stream _____the sky
they don't look at you and you don't ask them why
just everything costs money
everything costs money
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7. |
Ocean Floor
03:52
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the blue stain on my shirt shines brightly just for you
it takes hard work for me to swollow what I chew
pick up nails from the hardware store
and pound my feet into the floor
draw a line and step back til you're out of state
I climb and slide back into the valley of tears
the bison I kill there will be my food for years
spun around stuck in my lane
with a big grey cloud that won't be tamed
I'm underneath a deck rigged by the king
I'm thrashing bones at a cinderblock
that I ripped from a snake under my spirit rock
buying gold from a cavelier
who spits his jelly in my ear
I let my gun fall to the grass
when I drove through the hungover glass
now I shiver on the ocean floor
I don't think I can take any more
I ache like a jellyfish curled up inside this box
chewing through all my dimes trying to cure my chicken pox
taking breaths under a lake
I take whatever I can take
the canyon widens slowly every day
I'm thrashing bones at a cinderblock
that I ripped from a snake under my spirit rock
buying gold from a cavelier
who spits his jelly in my ear
I let my gun fall to the grass
when I drove through the hungover glass
now I shiver on the ocean floor
I don't think I can take any more
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8. |
A Care in the World
02:14
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fucking bees fly around
between olive walls
and one open window
they try to edge me out of my town
I don't have the balls
for sensitive subjects
this house is drowned in cold archeology
it would take a bull in heat to make it real for me
when it gets hard to know what to do
my bear's on the couch
my rat's in the kitchen
what looks to me like violet is blue
the glue in my mouth
is paving a driveway
I walked into the yard of my neighbor
she said that she would move if I stayed there
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Eric Wallgren Chicago, Illinois
noise pop/electronic singer-songwriter \\\\\
For booking: ericwallgren323@gmail.com
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