"Delicious"

by Eric Wallgren

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1.
I want to feel feelings but I don't want to feel this feeling I know I'll get hurt when I pick up this chain and pull out the ocean I want to go sailing but when she asks "how've you been?" and "what are you up to?" that's the wind that will drag me that I'm breathing and choking on now I'm with my dog who lets me be messy as long as I'm warm at the center and she was like that but i tripped at the stairs and I'm not sure that I've gotten better my monsoon's a whisper to the world unhinging down to a crawl but in the woods of psychic crashes this is the branch that I'm breaking on when she texted she'll be in town I was eating grapes in a cupboard I haven't seen her in so long and now that we'll jump inside from our corners I wake up and I feel chilled to my bones in june with a coat and a sweater cause she was like that but I tripped at the stairs and I'm not sure that I've gotten better
2.
I'm supposed to jump and click my heels in a pasture way up on dry land and never talk about the way I feel never talk to those who understand swimming deep in the waters where your senses merge who retrieve the buried gold that's neither his or hers who know that no one ever gets what they deserve who will starve with every person whittled down to their _____last nerve and get called not personable all my friends are broke pariah vermin throwing vases in a marble hall taught to steal their keep but never learning that they set you up to watch you fall and you fall down on a river past the civilized where you can drink their wild cherry and tune out their _____lies be the saccharine they won't admit they despise a sweetness in their throat that will burn out their eyes so I am not personable I'm the reason your parents had you go out for the team they were always afraid you would grow up to be a guy _____like me not yielding not personable I keep a hardened heart to sharpen my axe and I've got wood chopped for a fire I will never relax don't try to save me when I need to be heard I'm growing into my wings a singing negative bird a hawk so not personable
3.
in another life I'll sail the jello ocean tides of normal walks and flatline talks I'll watch the paper boats go by when the time is right we'll burn our cash in paper bags and I'll forget just why I let you eat my chips now I've been had if I cannot sleep I'll smoke all night on my back porch just throwing crumbs at scorpions that walk across the desert floor you say that you breathe rock heavy water in and out I drown when I begin to try and pull the snakes out of your mouth when disaster came he crashed the door to splinters in his pickup truck now how the fuck will you and I get through the winter how far will you crawl to leave where you were going to I'm in the dirt without a skirt my spitshine self is showing now so cut my love around the edges leave the crust on trim the hedges I'm alive and free without a smudge dig your arm into my leeches pull my finger eat your peaches take a break and smoke I'll be around I won't go home not all alone at the edge of earth I spit into a fountain but my garbage can is half a man to sit on flattened mountains when I mimic you you tell me that I'm growing and I'd jump to skate a figure eight but what of me is showing then oh I forgot about the trouble right there with the freedom and abandon when you build a paper house I smile when I feel the whip the coffee buzz the endless trip what you told be about it sounds the same just different sounds and different names
4.
Huff Tillman moonwalked on the street he wore a single sparkling glove sang "Rock with You" and "Billie Jean" the public knew they were in love all of Chicago knew of Huff they'd watch him sing and dance and stuff of all the Mikes in the Midwest everyone said he was the best so he said "I want to be where everyone can see that I'm the best there ever was to walk the earth I'm going to try before I lay down and die to make sure everybody knows what all I'm worth" and so Huff hopped onto a train going east to New York City where he could really play "The King of Pop" on stages and TV but when the train stopped for a rest Huff put on a small performance therr was a man who was impressed his name was Snaz Delorez and Snaz said "you ought to be where everyone can see that you're the best there ever was to walk the earth you've got to try before you lay down and die to make everybody knows what all you're worth" so Huff asked Snaz Delores "how will you do this for _____me? how will help to bring my act to everyone? and Snaz said to him "lucky you you don't know what I _____can do I'll have you dancing everywhere under the sun." that's when he laid it out to Huff he said "I own a traveling circus we go from town to town by bus and your act would be perfect for us" and so Huff went along with him moonwalked from Boise to Houston he never failed to bring a crowd and he was loved in every town
5.
I'm on your heels looking for the next way to feel pulled by a thrust broader than the seas of wanderlust I've got a job at the municipal bin where the boss pays you for nothing but to just blend in they sold me powder and they said I'd be fine but I turned into a pillar of mud and wine push me away to the fingertips of outer space and I will stay always on a light and shadow chase I didn't listen when they told me to go and now I dig a grave for all the things I don't know face down in a river I lay down squeeze out the juice from all the storms I phase through fast and loose to a glass of night that makes you like a bull after a fight I've got a job at the municipal bin where the boss pays you for nothing but to just blend in they sold me powder and they said I'd be fine but I turned into a pillar of mud and wine push me away so I won't have to drag my headached feet through one more day of crawling on the ground for dust to eat I didn't listen when they told me to go and now I dig a grave for all the things I don't know face down in a river I lay down push me away and break apart the time we've spent alone don't let me stay the trouble starts when I feel right at home I didn't listen when they told me to go and now I dig a grave for all the things I don't know face down in a river I lay down
6.
I'm crouching knees under my swollen chin in an icebox two feet wide fading like the ghost I've always been held back shut out from the open sky in dreams I ride the back of Icarus to a height above the sun but in life I can't afford to ride the bus I chew air just like it's chewing gum I lean for hours on a brick wall spitting dirt too stiff to feel free and too bored to get hurt falling easily out of love like it's eating cake I feel the loss but can't afford the heartbreak when everything costs money I haven't washed my hair in fourteen days and it shines like broken glass there's nothing I can do but pray for rain I know, know that this will never pass I've walked for miles through a seething fire to a lake of snakes and mud for one sweet chilling drink to stay alive I walk and the lake it seems to run there are days I'm less behind than the day before but with every day the fire hurts me more I remember every time I could die of thirst that for the afterlife I'd want a pack of cigarettes first and everything costs money a startled motor sputters in the grass and it eats up everything it's deadly to wonder how long this could last thirst shouts louder than devotion sings the water grief swims in never settles down there hunger floats and there my spirit drowns to the moon and back blue and green pigeons stream _____the sky they don't look at you and you don't ask them why just everything costs money everything costs money
7.
03:52
the blue stain on my shirt shines brightly just for you it takes hard work for me to swollow what I chew pick up nails from the hardware store and pound my feet into the floor draw a line and step back til you're out of state I climb and slide back into the valley of tears the bison I kill there will be my food for years spun around stuck in my lane with a big grey cloud that won't be tamed I'm underneath a deck rigged by the king I'm thrashing bones at a cinderblock that I ripped from a snake under my spirit rock buying gold from a cavelier who spits his jelly in my ear I let my gun fall to the grass when I drove through the hungover glass now I shiver on the ocean floor I don't think I can take any more I ache like a jellyfish curled up inside this box chewing through all my dimes trying to cure my chicken pox taking breaths under a lake I take whatever I can take the canyon widens slowly every day I'm thrashing bones at a cinderblock that I ripped from a snake under my spirit rock buying gold from a cavelier who spits his jelly in my ear I let my gun fall to the grass when I drove through the hungover glass now I shiver on the ocean floor I don't think I can take any more
8.
fucking bees fly around between olive walls and one open window they try to edge me out of my town I don't have the balls for sensitive subjects this house is drowned in cold archeology it would take a bull in heat to make it real for me when it gets hard to know what to do my bear's on the couch my rat's in the kitchen what looks to me like violet is blue the glue in my mouth is paving a driveway I walked into the yard of my neighbor she said that she would move if I stayed there

about

written/recorded/mixed/"mastered" by Eric Wallgren in a small bedroom.

cassettes out 6/30/18 via Midwest Action.

strictly for the truest of noise pop riders, don't say the butterboy didn't warn you.

Music video for "Around the Edges:" youtube.com/watch?v=OIEAkbW0VVQ

credits

released May 16, 2018

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about

Eric Wallgren Chicago, Illinois

nightmare pop // extravagant minimalism

Get at me for booking here: ericwallgren323@gmail.com

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